Cross Pollinating the Cross Walk

In the course of my “real” job, I have to endure a stupid amount of meetings and conference calls. Just last week–true story–when asked a question I blurted out “Oh, I thought we were still talking about something that had absolutely nothing to do with me so I wasn’t paying attention.”

What really gets me is the amount of jargon I hear in these meetings.

If you’ve ever had your blue-sky visioning show a helicopter view that face-time is the best low hanging fruit, but would require some heavy lifting by one person to leverage the value-add, well…you’re just gonna have to put that in the parking lot until it can be cross-walked with HR. We don’t have that kind of bandwidth! Seriously. Don’t you even understand the deliverable?

The 360-degree view of jargon is that its usage is supposed to make others think you’re smart, but what they’re really thinking is “dick.”

Cycling has it’s own jargon. It can be just as annoying and confusing to those new to the sport so brush up here. There are a few things specific to CX (that’s jargon for cyclocross) that weren’t on the list so I’ll drill-down for you.

  • Hole-Shot–Used in a sentence: “His specialty is getting the hole-shot.” This term refers to being the first person to make it into the narrow section or first turn after a start. The person that gets the hole-shot has less chance of getting tangled up in the pack of racers. The term also elicits many TWSS moments.
  • Heckling–A CX race is very spectator-friendly, so all your cycling frenemies can be there to heckle, i.e. cheer, you on. There was some discussion last year about when heckling goes too far. We don’t seem to have that problem much here in Mid-Mo and I’m firmly in the “heckle you friends, encourage everyone else” camp.
  • Cowbells–Also a big part of the spectating experience. Personally, I can’t stand ’em.
  • HandupsDisclaimer: They are technically illegal in USAC races. You can get a DQ for taking a handup unless they are pre-approved for the pit area…so that’s why handups take place far away from the officials. Handups can be anything from snack food to beer to dollar bills to 8-track cassettes tapes. Bacon is a current fad. So are donuts.
  • Svenness/Like A Vos–A reference to having a perfect moment on the CX course. Used in sentences: “Way to Svenness that corner!” “You rode that section Like A Vos!” The terms came from a video series created by In the Crosshairs. Sven Nys and Marianne Vos are undisputed champs and watching them do their thing is inspirational.
  • The Rules–People are referencing The Rules when you hear Rule #5, HTFU, n+1, or “it’s all about the bike.” The Rules aren’t specific to cyclocross, but they capture the spirit.

Finally, watch this video below. If you’re still confused, let’s take this offline so I can help you reach paradigm shift.