In the course of my “real” job, I have to endure a stupid amount of meetings and conference calls. Just last week–true story–when asked a question I blurted out “Oh, I thought we were still talking about something that had absolutely nothing to do with me so I wasn’t paying attention.”
What really gets me is the amount of jargon I hear in these meetings.
If you’ve ever had your blue-sky visioning show a helicopter view that face-time is the best low hanging fruit, but would require some heavy lifting by one person to leverage the value-add, well…you’re just gonna have to put that in the parking lot until it can be cross-walked with HR. We don’t have that kind of bandwidth! Seriously. Don’t you even understand the deliverable?
The 360-degree view of jargon is that its usage is supposed to make others think you’re smart, but what they’re really thinking is “dick.”
Cycling has it’s own jargon. It can be just as annoying and confusing to those new to the sport so brush up here. There are a few things specific to CX (that’s jargon for cyclocross) that weren’t on the list so I’ll drill-down for you.
- Hole-Shot–Used in a sentence: “His specialty is getting the hole-shot.” This term refers to being the first person to make it into the narrow section or first turn after a start. The person that gets the hole-shot has less chance of getting tangled up in the pack of racers. The term also elicits many TWSS moments.
- Heckling–A CX race is very spectator-friendly, so all your cycling frenemies can be there to heckle, i.e. cheer, you on. There was some discussion last year about when heckling goes too far. We don’t seem to have that problem much here in Mid-Mo and I’m firmly in the “heckle you friends, encourage everyone else” camp.
- Cowbells–Also a big part of the spectating experience. Personally, I can’t stand ‘em.
- Handups–Disclaimer: They are technically illegal in USAC races. You can get a DQ for taking a handup unless they are pre-approved for the pit area…so that’s why handups take place far away from the officials. Handups can be anything from snack food to beer to dollar bills to 8-track cassettes tapes. Bacon is a current fad. So are donuts.
- Svenness/Like A Vos–A reference to having a perfect moment on the CX course. Used in sentences: “Way to Svenness that corner!” “You rode that section Like A Vos!” The terms came from a video series created by In the Crosshairs. Sven Nys and Marianne Vos are undisputed champs and watching them do their thing is inspirational.
- The Rules–People are referencing The Rules when you hear Rule #5, HTFU, n+1, or “it’s all about the bike.” The Rules aren’t specific to cyclocross, but they capture the spirit.
Finally, watch this video below. If you’re still confused, let’s take this offline so I can help you reach paradigm shift.
The firs thing out of my mouth when someone tells me they ride bikes is “Do you know what cyclocross is?”
Usually they walk into my verbal trap with some variation of “I’ve heard of it but never seen it” or “No, I don’t think so,” then I’m off and running.
Sometimes I get scolded for possibly scaring people by talking about it too much, but when you love something as much as I love cyclocross you want to bring more people in to share the party.
Help me bring some newbs into CoMo cyclocross this season.
- Share the video below with a friend who doesn’t know what cyclocross is.
- Invite family and friends to join you Sept 27 & 28 at CoMo Cyclcross Cup. They can watch. They can ride. They can join the party.
Note: If you have superhero vision you can see some of the CoMo Cup planning team watching one of the races in this video.
So much info is conveyed in this photo but there are four main things you really need to know. Take a look and we’ll see if you figured them out at the end.
Trade your paper with a partner and let’s check answers.
#1 We have an awesome title sponsor. Focus on Health KNOWS all about the aches and pains of a cyclist and totally supports us getting more of them by racing Cross.
#2 Registration opens August 9. That photo lies. Flat out lies. Sign up on Aug 9. Think of it as the high school Letter of Intent Day you never got.
#3 SUNDAY races. This is a two day event. Hotels are close. Nice people with couches you can crash on live here. Make it a weekend.
#4 The Junior races are not listed. That’s because they’re FREE. We also have a Little Belgians race for the under 10 demographic. The info is in the race flyer.
Bonus question: What does the majority of the ComoCXCup planning team order at Ernie’s when we have breakfast meetings? The #4. With bacon.
The TdF is winding down and social media is buzzing with talk of cyclocross. Knobbies, hand-ups, barriers, flyover, heckling. This is the language of Fall to a cyclist and even though it’s only July, we couldn’t be more ready.
Except there are some things we need you all to do first.
1. Put these dates on your calendar.
While you’re at it, add these events because they’re always a good time put on by good people.
2. Tell your friends about these dates
Cyclocross is a full participation sport. Riders of every ability and rowdy spectators are part of the fun. All are embraced and plied with beer until, the next thing you know, someone is chasing riders around the course administering corporal punishment with a giant fly swatter.
Share or print this flier.
3. Get a CX bike.
A mountain bike will work too. Beg, borrow, modify, sell stuff on Craigslist, cash in your retirement account, whatever it takes. If you’re not riding CX you are missing out. Simply missing out.
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